Announcing ChirpCog™. Pay anyone for anything – just by thinking about it.

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We’ve heard from our users that while sending and accepting payments with one Tweet is easy, it could be made even simpler. Well, today we’re more than excited to announce ChirpCog™, the only application that enables you to accept and make payments just by thinking about them.

Here’s how it works…

First, you register with Chirpify. If you’re already a member we’ll ask you for one more bit if information: Your DNA. Giving Chirpify access to your deoxyribonucleic acid is easy with ChirpCog™. You simply insert a strand of hair into your USB port. Once the hair is inside click the “map me” button. Our R&D Lab has come up with an ingenuous way to map your DNA to your thought patterns. And, since it’s DNA, you can rest assured your transactions will be unique, and secure.

Once your DNA is mapped, transacting is as easy as finding a quiet spot in your house and thinking about who you’d like to pay. Don’t worry if that person doesn’t have a Chirpify account, we’ll telepathically alert them about the payment waiting for them. Once they scan their DNA, the transaction will process.

While requiring deeper concentration, ChirpCog™ also works for accepting payments. Just thinking about the money you’d like to have is enough to make it happen. Payment is securely transferred into your account instantly.

While the system is a huge step in realizing the dream of thoughtless commerce, we realize ChirpCog™ still requires you to think. Please know that we’re working hard to eliminate that step.

ChirpCog™ API available soon.

  • Chirpify

    Lmfao @ last line.